Sunday, June 14, 2015

I Have Graduated Into a Disney Princess

Well, I'm no longer a student.

Achievement Unlocked: MFA.

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What does that mean? Well, for one, my triumphant and desperate return to social media.

I just spent two years studying the technique of writing musical theatre. This might surprise some of you who mostly know me as a prose writer and reviewer, but I have a lot of irons in the fire. But the thing is, you can be a great musical theatre writer (still working on it...) and yet so much -- nearly everything -- comes down to who you know.

Well, I will never know people if people don't know me.

Time to start using my real name on things! Update social media often! Self-promo like mad! Apply to everything!

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alright alright alright alright alright alright al-

And in the meantime, how do I make money? Yeah. Survival job.

I work in a tea shop. As far as survival jobs go, it's pretty great. I get to drink as much tea as I want and the people I work with are people I consider friends.

Sometimes, crazy things happen.

Last week, I was outside giving out samples when a customer says, "There's a bird in your store." I look inside and sure enough, a house sparrow is zooming around like a Toys R Us demo helicopter.

"One second," I tell the customer.

Inside, the bird hits the window, and people are freaking out. The bird is fine, just dazed, and still flapping at the glass. My assistant manager herds it from one side of the window to the other, where I'm standing. I reach down and pick up the bird. (I have a ringneck dove at home, so I knew how to hold it.) It turns its little neck around and chomps down on my finger. Which is kind of cute because it can't break skin and its little angry face looks so sure of itself.

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"Om nom nom."

"Don't bite me," I scold.

I walk out to the street and realize that I don't know how to let it go safely.

But then I remembered: I've seen this in the movies.

The Disney movies.

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There will be a test.

So I toss out my arms, releasing my grip as I do, like I'm creating momentum for the sparrow. Sure enough, he flies from my fingers and nyooms his way down the street.

That's how I became a legend, I guess. My coworkers often like recounting the "rescue" story.

Would you believe this isn't the first time this has happened to me?

When I was about 4, I was in the reptile house at the zoo. Kids were screaming in delight and running around. A mouse was loose. It ran along the wall. I made a little bowl with my hands and knelt down. The mouse hopped right into my palms. I let it go outside in a bush.

All the cells have been replaced in my body 3 times over since that  happened. But I guess some things never change.

-- Sarah JF --